Asking for help is a sign of weakness.
Yep, just a few years ago this was one of my core beliefs.
You see, I grew up in a very poor, but very proud family.
We needed help in a lot of ways.
In fact, we were desperate for help, especially financially.
But we never asked for it.
Over time, I learned a very simple belief which became a core part of my life.
Letting others help you is a sign of weakness and is something that you should be ashamed of.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how flawed and unhelpful that belief is for anyone.
After all, why else would you have clicked on this blog post, right?
So, today I want to share with you how to let others help you, even when you’re afraid of that vulnerability.
Specifically I want to talk about why it's important to let people help you and how you can go about doing it.
Asking for help isn’t weakness.
And in this post today, I really hope to show you that it's actually a strength and what you can do about it so that you can start to accept more help in your life and move forward in the way that you want.
Why Letting People Help You Isn’t Weakness
So this was a problem that I had for a very, very long time.
I'd always viewed myself as an independent and as a strong person.
I hated having to accept help from other people.
I didn't like to admit that I was wrong or even admit that there were things that I didn't know.
And I just didn't like to be viewed by other people as somebody that needed help.
I imagine this sounds familiar, right?
The truth is, it made me feel kind of weak and small on the inside.
And I know that that is something that you can probably relate to, in one way or another.
Even when it came to things like the homework and doing coursework, I didn't like to accept help from anyone.
I wanted to be viewed as a strong and independent person.
And at the end of the day, I had to eventually learn how to accept help from other people.
Because as the saying goes, there is strength in numbers.
And the more people you have behind you that can help you, the faster you're going to be able to move forward in life.
But this isn’t because you are dependent or reliant on them though!
Instead, it’s because you have that support network of people who can motivate you and inspire you and help you when you need it most.
But, at the end of the day, it comes down to two things.
You Won’t Always Be Strong
It might sound a bit cliché but true strength is knowing that you are not always strong and that you do have weaknesses.
And also that there are going to be people who are better at you at certain things.
There are going to be people who can help you be better as a person.
For me, that first person that I had to accept help from was my counsellor.
And she was really the pillar of a lot of the changes that I made in my life especially when it came to accepting help from other people.
But more on that in just a minute…
You Should Always Take Every Advantage You Can Get
The second thing is that you should take every single advantage that you're given in life.
And that means if there is somebody that who is offering to help you, even though you don't feel like you need their help, if you accept it, the worst thing that can happen is that you don't learn anything new.
And the best thing that can happen is that you learn an entirely new perspective, that speeds your progress towards what you actually want to achieve in life.
So you really have nothing to lose from letting people help.
In any case, you are learning.
One of the main reasons why I found learning how to let people you so difficult is that I was a very proud person.
But I had to learn how to let go of that pride when it came to letting people help me.
And I'll be honest, when it comes to letting go of your pride, it is going to hurt temporarily because it feels like your sense of being is being knocked on the head.
But you need to know that it is going to help you in the future.
After all, we wouldn't be in the place that we were now, if it wasn't for teachers and mentors and coaches and other people like that who have provided us help in our lives.
But that being said, it's not always easy to let go of that sense that if you do accept help from other people, that it will diminish your strength.
So what I suggest is to start very small.
Start Small and Grow
This is what I suggest with all goals.
Start small and work your way upwards in levels of difficulty.
For me, starting small was doing things like going to study groups where I worked collaboratively with other students in order for us to boost our grades.
It was admitting when I was wrong or when I didn’t know things.
And I was able to slowly over time, build up a tolerance to that feeling of helplessness if I was asking another person to help.
Because at the end of the day, I was just taking advantage of a resource that could help me.
And that's maybe a weird way to look at it, but if you do want to think about it strategically and tactically, then if somebody is offering you help, then the smartest thing to do is to take that help.
How A Coach or Therapist Can Help You
Now, my second bit of advice is that if you do want to do this, but you don't necessarily want to put yourself into a vulnerable situation with people that you know then go out and hire a coach, therapist or a counsellor.
You can have them as your entry level step to accepting help from other people.
In fact, this is exactly what I did.
Going and seeing a counsellor was very much my entry-level step into letting other people into my life.
During my time in therapy, I had to slowly overcome my pride over many sessions and accept that she could help me, but only if I let her.
After all, one of the worst things that you could have in life is a closed mind because there is always something else to learn.
And sometimes we learn the most from the places that we expect to learn the least.
So try to accept advice, criticism and feedback.
Take as much information in as you possibly can.
Work with it and find out if it works for you.
And if it doesn't, you don't have to use it.
But always make sure that you are entering into situations with as open a mind as possible, trying to learn from as many different people, as many different places as possible.
After all, what’s the worst that could happen?
So, I hope that this has been helpful in showing you how to let people help you.
We can move forward so much faster in life when we’re willing to set aside our pride and let people into our lives who can help us.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the support and help from:
- And complete strangers on the internet sometimes telling me that I’m an idiot
So, I would encourage you to start small today and begin the process of learning how to let people help you become the person you’ve always known that you could be!
If you’re ready to:
- Take your life and confidence to the next level
- Achieve your goals faster than you ever thought was possible
- Finally overcome self-doubt and become the person you’ve always known you could become
Then Confidence Coaching is the way to do it!
So, if you’re ready to work together to crush your obstacles, 10x your confidence and live a life that you love, make sure you check out the Work With Me page and arrange a FREE Discovery Call today!
Or alternatively you can contact me on my Facebook Page.