When hard times hit you in life, you’ve only got two ways to deal with the emotion.
You can lean on your support network of friends, family and other loved ones.
Or, you can learn how to support yourself emotionally.
And whilst neither option may be better than the other, having to support yourself and your emotions without anyone’s help is going to arise as a situation over and over again in life.
So, today I’m going to teach you how to support yourself emotionally.
Why Do You Need To Know How To Support Yourself Emotionally?
Well, we're all going to have times in our life when we are going to need emotional support.
And for the most part, you hope that when those situations come around, you've got a support system around you or friends and family and loved ones who will help you to get through those particularly difficult times.
But we can’t cannot always expect others to help us and fix our problems for us.
So I wanted to share with you some easy ways that you can start to become more emotionally supportive towards yourself.
Step 1) Embrace Your Emotions
Now, when it comes to dealing with your emotions, you should never try to bury them.
When I was younger, I dealt with a lot of anger issues.
In fact, I was angry almost all of the time.
And I was always being told that I need to learn how to control myself.
I had to learn to put my anger in a little box and never let it out.
And after a little while I got really good at burying my anger (and a lot of other emotions too).
But you probably know what happens when you try to bury strong emotions, right?
For me, my anger used to burst out at random intervals. And it was all because I wasn’t addressing my emotions.
I was ignoring my anger and pretending like it wasn’t there and that really wasn’t great for me.
In fact, one of the best things I did for my anger and other emotions was to start to get introspective.
And the more I questioned myself about where my anger was coming from and what caused it, the more I was able to control it.
I had to learn to embrace that emotion and face it head on rather than hiding it.
And that leads us into the next point.
Step 2) Get Help To Understand Your Emotions
When it comes to getting to grips with your emotional headspace, I highly recommend speaking to a therapist or counsellor.
Even if you think you haven’t got anything “therapy-worthy” to talk to them about, sometimes it’s just good to talk to someone who won’t hold any judgement at all.
With therapy, you can really get to the root of where these problems are.
Even if you just understand that the abstract where these emotional issues come from, you can start to work with them instead of burying them.
And then you can you can start to work on the next of this process, which is accepting yourself as you are right now.
Step 3) Self-Acceptance Is Key To Supporting Yourself Emotionally
Now this doesn't mean that you should just succumb to whatever emotion appears in your life.
And you may also have a perception of certain emotions being good or bad.
But, emotions are really just emotions.
They are just things that happen.
And you might not always be able to control your emotions, but you can choose how you respond to them.
And that means not allowing your emotions control you.
Because emotions, much like any other kind of much like any other kind of thought, can be intrusive.
And sometimes we just can't help when they crop up.
But we can always control our response to it.
What is important is that you accept yourself just as the person you are.
You're only human, just like everyone else. And that means that sometimes you’re going to have to deal with emotions.
And sometimes they're going to happen on a regular basis.
Sometimes you're going to be very, very happy and sometimes you're going to be very, very sad.
Sometimes you're going to be neutral and sometimes you're going to be in a flaming ball of anger and fury.
And all of that is okay because that is just what we humans are like.
We can’t just deny that these emotions exist.
We can’t deny the impact that they have on our lives.
In fact, we design our entire lives around our emotions.
Because emotions give our lives meaning!
And so, if you want to support yourself more emotionally, you have to accept that these things happen.
Step 4) Be The Observer
If you’ve read my post on metacognition, then you’ll know that we all have two minds.
We have “the thinker” and we have “the observer”.
So, when you’re experiencing sadness, there is a part of you that is creating that feeling.
But, there is another equally powerful part of your mind that observes that feeling happening.
And if you can learn to observe your emotions from a neutral standpoint, then it becomes that much easier to give yourself the support that you need.
Now, of course it’s nowhere near as easy as how I’ve just written it.
In fact, takes a lot of work.
And I highly recommend looking into the teachings of people like the ancient Stoics for more on this concept.
In fact, I highly recommend Ryan Holiday’s books on this subject: “The Ego is The Enemy” and “The Obstacle Is The Way”.
But, what it comes down to is accepting who, what and where you are.
Taking a step back and really observing the experience of these things that are happening.
Step 5) Self-Compassion and Self-Care
Finally, we get to my favourite piece of advice for emotional support: self-compassion and self-care.
Just by recognizing that you're not perfect and loving yourself anyway, you are providing yourself an amazing level of emotional support.
And combining this love with self-care can really enhance the effects of self-compassion.
And this could be doing anything from:
- Taking a break to meditate
- Getting out into nature
- Having a warm shower or bath
None of us came with an instruction manual.
So, find out what works best for you.
Find out how best you can be compassionate and caring towards yourself and then stick with that.
And take it easy on yourself.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to be you.
Final Thoughts On How To Support Yourself Emotionally
Learn how to support yourself is one of the most important things you could learn to improve your confidence and your life as a whole.
You'll find it easier to overcome obstacles, look past failures and speed up your progress towards becoming the best version of you.
So, I hope you’ve found this post on how to support yourself emotionally to be useful.
Let me know in the comments how you’re going to be supporting yourself emotionally this week.
If you’re ready to:
- Take your life and confidence to the next level
- Achieve your goals faster than you ever thought was possible
- Finally overcome self-doubt and become the person you’ve always known you could become
Then Confidence Coaching is the way to do it!
So, if you’re ready to work together to crush your obstacles, 10x your confidence and live a life that you love, make sure you check out the Work With Me page and arrange a FREE Discovery Call today!
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