So one of the questions that's been on my mind for quite some time is the question: should you change who you are?
And that's what I want to explore in this blog post today because sometimes it seems like the only way we can move forward with what we want out of life is if we totally, and maybe even fundamentally change who we are as a person.
But before I can do that, the question that should be answered is can we actually change who we are?
And the answer to that is both “yes” and “no”.
Can We Even Change Who We Are?
Let me explain.
So on the one hand, of course we can change who we are.
After all, we always have a choice in the way that we act and react, whether that is physically or mentally or emotionally.
We always have the choice to behave in certain ways.
So, we absolutely always can change who we are.
But on the other hand, it's not so cut and dry.
It's not just a simple matter of erasing the person that we used to be and becoming a completely different person.
At the end of the day, no matter what choices we are making now, that person that we used to be is always there. That person is always going to be a part of us.
Those memories, those experiences, those actions, they all form who you are.
So it's definitely not as simple as “can you change who you are” because of course you can make different choices.
But those choices don’t totally change you because everything that you have done up until now is still with you.
So to answer the question, I would say that regardless of what choices you make, you're not actually changing who you are.
Instead, you can think about it as deciding what kind of person you want to continue to be.
And, with that in mind, let's jump into answering the main question: Should you change who you are now?
Should You Change Who You Are?
We can all get so frustrated when we see others moving forward.
Especially when it seems like no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get the results you want.
And it's especially frustrating when you can see people who are doing wrong and doing the wrong thing, but still getting ahead.
And I know that we're all guilty of at one time or another of thinking that if they can break the rules and get away with it, then why should you play fair?
It's a frustration that we all have.
And it's something that I still think about on a regular basis.
But once I started thinking about whether or not I should just change myself I began to realise that it’s not a question of if I should change who I am.
After all, we’ve already determined that you can decide what kind of person you want to be.
Instead, what it comes down to is “why”.
Why – The Most Powerful Question In The World
So, why do you want to change who you are?
Are you changing who you are for yourself?
Or are you changing who you are for others? For what other people think of you or what you think they should think of you?
And you might be wondering, what’s wrong with changing to fit in with other people?
Well, the main problem is that if you try to change yourself to suit the opinions of other people then you will eventually make yourself miserable.
Eventually, you’ll even start to resent the other people in your life.
Now this isn't to say that you can’t adjust your attitude and behaviours around certain people.
If something makes a person uncomfortable, then you can try your best to accommodate them, but never to change who you are.
Because eventually you will come to resent that person.
The mission of this website is to help you achieve your Freedom Through Confidence.
And by changing who you are for others, not because you actually want to, you are giving away your freedom.
So really you should only change who you are if it is for you.
Doesn’t That Make You Selfish?
I get that this may sound a little bit selfish, but at the end of the day, the only person that really has to accept who you are is you.
And if you are changing yourself, because you think it's going to make other people like you, and it's not something that you actually want then you’re going to end up not liking yourself.
Think about it.
If you value what others think about you more than you think about yourself, what message does that send?
It tells your unconscious mind that you’re only as worthy as other people say you are.
It means you’re only likeable when others like you.
Eventually, you might find your self-esteem so dependent on others that you can’t even make decisions on your own any more.
And that doesn’t sound like a life of confidence to me.
So, should you change who you are?
For me, the last seven or eight years of my life have been all about changing who I am.
And at first I did it for all the wrong reasons and that's why I didn't progress.
It’s what made me even more miserable.
No matter how many self help books I read, how many seminars I went to or how many courses I took, it didn't matter because I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.
And once I really started to work on myself for myself, then I found my progress came a lot faster and I became a lot happier over time.
So should you change who you are?
But only if it is for you, otherwise you run the risk of building resentment towards others and also towards yourself as well.
Because you may very well become someone that you don't actually want to be.
So, be you!
If you’re ready to:
- Take your life and confidence to the next level
- Achieve your goals faster than you ever thought was possible
- Finally overcome self-doubt and become the person you’ve always known you could become
Then Confidence Coaching is the way to do it!
So, if you’re ready to work together to crush your obstacles, 10x your confidence and live a life that you love, make sure you check out the Work With Me page and arrange a FREE Discovery Call today!
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