Selfish is the new selfless!
Yep, you read that right.
Being selfish is the best way to be selfless and helpful.
To a lot of people, that is going to sound like absolute blasphemy.
After all, you were probably raised from a very young age to be nice and try to put others first.
Being raised in a religious family, that message was drilled home almost every single day.
Being selfless was the path to righteousness and being selfish was the fast-track to hell.
Well, I say screw all of that!
Today, I’m going to share with you why sometimes being selfish is the best thing you can be and why you should take care of yourself and your needs first and foremost through the practice of self-care.
But, what exactly is self-care?
What Is Self-Care?
Self-care is the simple act of taking care of yourself and your needs.
And I can almost guarantee that if you’re struggling with confidence then you’re not making enough time for self-care in your life.
Self-care can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people.
For some people, it’s going for a long walk in nature or soaking in a bubble bath.
For others, it’s taking the time to hit the gym or just get a full night’s rest.
But, in it’s simplest form, it means taking some time away from trying to fulfil the needs of others and focusing on yourself for a change.
Believe me, you need it!
We all do sometimes.
And I’m going to spend more time in a future blog post all about how to create an amazing self-care practice.
But, today I just want to talk about some of the specific benefits of self-care.
And I hope this will be an encouragement for you to start moving forward with more self-care in your life so that you can live a life that you truly deserve.
Self-Care Leads To Self-Compassion
So, the first benefit of self-care is that it always leads to a greater sense of self-compassion.
And self-compassion is vital when it comes to self-improvement and confidence.
And the simple reason is that when you are on your journey of self-improvement, you’re going to make mistakes.
You’re going to face failures, setbacks and disappointments.
And if you let all of them get to you then you're not going to be able to make good progress in life.
You’ll eventually find yourself spiralling into anxiety, depression, anger or worse.
But, by investing in self care, you will teach yourself that it's okay to make mistakes and that it's okay to be who you are.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You are just the way that you are.
We're all perfectly imperfect.
Self-Compassion Is Your Shield Against Downward Spiralling
Holding compassion towards yourself gives you the opportunity to make mistakes that you can actually learn from.
Because if you're making mistakes and just feeling shame about it and trying to bury it then you're not going to be able to learn and move forward.
You're not going to be able to make progress.
And I know this because I was there.
Any time I made even the smallest of mistakes, I would feel tremendous shame and self-loathing.
I hated myself any time I didn’t feel like I did enough or I was enough – and unfortunately that was all of the time.
But during my time spent in therapy, I was able to learn why self-care is so important and how it can promote a greater sense of self-compassion
I learned that self-compassion is all about letting yourself know that it's okay to screw up.
And the more I was able to accept myself even when I felt like a screw-up, the more confident I became.
Self-Care Helps You Relate To Yourself – Then You Can Relate Better To Others
Throughout most of my life, I’ve found it difficult to relate to other people.
Because I hadn’t had the chance to learn even the most basic of real-life social skills, I didn’t know how to deal with people, their feelings, my feelings or really anything else that mattered.
I was so confused and scared all of the time because I had no idea what was happening.
And this fear of myself and of other people is one of the things that drew me to psychology.
It also drew me towards self-improvement.
I wanted to understand what was going on in other people’s minds.
I also, more importantly, wanted to understand what was happening in my mind.
And whilst psychology never really helped me as much as I thought it would, I was able to find the answers to my question through self-care.
You see, at it’s core, self-care is all about self-acceptance.
When you take time to look after your own needs, you remind yourself that you matter.
You embrace your feelings and emotions – even the uncomfortable ones.
And through learning how to understand and accept yourself, you create greater room in your life to understand and accept others.
So, it’s not nearly as selfish as it might sound in the end!
Self-Care Boosts Your Self-Esteem
Finally, self-care teaches you how to love yourself.
Because if you can forgive yourself for your mistakes what you're really doing is that you are showing yourself that you love yourself unconditionally.
And that’s never a bad thing because it's giving you room to make mistakes.
It's giving you room to grow as a person, and you're holding a place of no judgment and a high level of love.
And every time you take the time to look after yourself, you are showing yourself that you are worth something.
We only take care of the things that we care about.
So, by learning self-care you are learning that you are a person of tremendous worth.
Ultimately, self-esteem is the cornerstone of self-confidence.
The more self-esteem you have, the more confidence you’ll learn to be who you’ve always wanted to be.
There’s so much more to self-care than just it’s many benefits.
In fact, there are far more benefits that I can even list in this blog post.
So, why is self-care so important for confidence?
Because it is showing you that you have worth.
It shows you that you are an amazing person that deserves amazing things.
So, start today and make it your best, most caring day ever.
You won’t regret it.
If you’re ready to:
- Take your life and confidence to the next level
- Achieve your goals faster than you ever thought was possible
- Finally overcome self-doubt and become the person you’ve always known you could become
Then Confidence Coaching is the way to do it!
So, if you’re ready to work together to crush your obstacles, 10x your confidence and live a life that you love, make sure you check out the Work With Me page and arrange a FREE Discovery Call today!
Or you can contact me directly on the LTUK Facebook Page!